Happily ever after with Ralph and Debbie

Debbie and Ralph
The bits and pieces of Debbie and Ralph that I have, only tell a few stories. Online research can help.  I know Debbie was a leading expert on Shame and Addiction and her now missing website Addiction.net was an early prototype for the field. I believe Ralph helped her create it, as  he currently does Tech/Networking options for a local gun shop. Debbie passed on and her local Eating Disorder Recovery Center is closed. In her golden age, she was a main speaker for Recovery Conventions and I even found her portfolio on Shame, plus a bonus speech she gave, clarifying her theories on Recovery.  

This story isn’t just about her work, as Ralph was a part of it, but also her kids who watched her struggle with the same issues as her clients. Healing is a long process and Debbie had a script.  This is her Biomytholographeology.

Deborah J. Kuehne l, LCSW
M.A. Lindenwood University St. Charles, MO. Professional Counseling The A Connection Between Eating Disorder Symptomatology and Guilt or Shame GPA 4.0
BA. St Louis University St. Louis, MO Majors in Sociology with emphasis in Criminology, and Education (K-8)
2004-Present Director of “The Girl’s Club” and “The Boys Club
A preventative seek group program designed for at risk adolescents (12-18) to provide support negotiating these softened years. Responsibilities include.. All programming, treatment development, staffing family and client care. staffing education,
2003-Present CEO A Director of Eating Disorder Recovery Center
Responsibilities include coordinating all treatment, treatment development, Family education included, Development and maintaining of large internet website devoted to eating disorders www.addictions.net and Incorporated, D. Kuchnel, LCSW, LLC
client care,
11/1965-10/01 Case Manager, Eating Disorder Programs St. Anthony’s Medical Center-Hyland Behavioral Health: St. Louis, MO 63123
Responsibilities include directing programming treatment development and coordination, treatment, family support and education, staffing public education, and marketing
1/1998-12/1996 Aftercare Counselor Intensive Outpatient Program Chemical Dependency Program
St. Anthony’s Medical Center Hyland Behavioral Health: St. Louis, MO 63123 Responsibilities include facilitating weekly aftercare groups for clients discharged from all Chemical Dependency Program provided
1986-Present Psychotherapist (Private Practice)
Individual, couple and family therapy utilizing a cognitive behavioral orientation which internal family systems therapy, systems therapy, ego state therapy Emphasis areas include: Eating Disorders, Adolescent Issues, ADHD Coaching and Shame Treatment incorporates solution focused
9/1974-1/1979 Classroom Teacher St. Louis Parochial School System

Shame and Affect Theory
Shame, according to affect theorists, is the vehicle that regulates interest and excitement, serving to diminish it to acceptable intensity (Potter-Efron, Efron, 1993). It is important to note that the function of shame is not to completely destroy these affects, but to partially restrict them. Normal shame according to Tomkins is a temporary condition, a sudden alteration of a situation that occurs when someone’s interest or excitement has mounted to inappropriate levels,
While Tomkins emphasizes that normal shame is a temporary phenomenon he provides an explanation for the unfolding and development of chronic shame as well. He explains that shame can become malignant if it becomes permanent or if it is linked too often with other affects (Tomkins, 1987) Kaufman (1990) labels this process the “affect-shame bind” Potter Ffron & Efron (1993) site the example that someone may feel continual shame for having any strong feelings, even when they would be appropriate. Eventually, shame stops primarily being a signal of temporary distress. Rather, it becomes part of the individual’s character, manifesting itself primarily in the forms of body shame, relationship shame, and competence shame (Potter Efron & Efron 1993).
Deborah J. Kuehne l, LCSW

Character Shame — Relationship Shame
Drive-Shame Scenes -Drive-Shame Binds -Sexuality-Shame – Hunger-Shame
Body Shame – Affect-Shame Scenes – Affect-Shame Binds
Excitement-Shame – Enjoyment-Shame – Anger-Shame Fear-Shame
Distress-Shame Shame -Shame Dismissal -Shame Disgust-Shame Nurture-Shame Affirmation-Shame
Power-Shame Differential

Shaming for women and men:
Women -Anger – Power – Differentiation
Fear Distress – Touching Holding – Identification