Happily ever after with Ralph and Debbie

The bits and pieces of Debbie and Ralph that I have are only a few stories, as physical artifacts like the scooter, air compressor and bicycle found a new purpose. Other items became their own story, without the married couple who once owned them. I think the only reason I ended up with Debbie’s research, Psychology books and Convention material…is it was in a great black travel bag! Ralph and Deb are the quiet parents to much larger stories, like the Black Friday Saxophone. (click for the story)

 We learn through the Travel bag that Debbie was a leading expert on Shame and Addiction and her now defunct website ….which was an early prototype for the field. I believe Ralph helped her create it, as he currently does Tech/Networking options for a local gun shop. Debbie passed on and her local Eating Disorder Recovery Center was closed. In her golden age, she was a main speaker for Recovery Conventions and I even found her portfolio on Shame, plus a bonus speech she gave, clarifying her theories on Recovery.  

Their collective Mythology isn’t just about her work, and Ralph was a large part of it, but the Bio-mytholograpeology of Debbie is now being presented.

How does Recover from Shame an Eating Disorder? Healing is a long process and Debbie had a self created script.  This is the Bio-mytholographeology of Debbie’s work.

Deborah J. Kuehne l, LCSW
M.A. Lindenwood University St. Charles, MO. Professional Counseling The A Connection Between Eating Disorder Symptomatology and Guilt or Shame GPA 4.0
BA. St Louis University St. Louis, MO Majors in Sociology with emphasis in Criminology, and Education (K-8)
2004-Present Director of “The Girl’s Club” and “The Boys Club
A preventative seek group program designed for at risk adolescents (12-18) to provide support negotiating these softened years. Responsibilities include.. All programming, treatment development, staffing family and client care. staffing education,
2003-Present CEO A Director of Eating Disorder Recovery Center
Responsibilities include coordinating all treatment, treatment development, Family education included, Development and maintaining of large internet website devoted to eating disorders and Incorporated, D. Kuchnel, LCSW, LLC
client care,
11/1965-10/01 Case Manager, Eating Disorder Programs St. Anthony’s Medical Center-Hyland Behavioral Health: St. Louis, MO 63123
Responsibilities include directing programming treatment development and coordination, treatment, family support and education, staffing public education, and marketing
1/1998-12/1996 Aftercare Counselor Intensive Outpatient Program Chemical Dependency Program
St. Anthony’s Medical Center Hyland Behavioral Health: St. Louis, MO 63123 Responsibilities include facilitating weekly aftercare groups for clients discharged from all Chemical Dependency Program provided
1986-Present Psychotherapist (Private Practice)
Individual, couple and family therapy utilizing a cognitive behavioral orientation which internal family systems therapy, systems therapy, ego state therapy Emphasis areas include: Eating Disorders, Adolescent Issues, ADHD Coaching and Shame Treatment incorporates solution focused
9/1974-1/1979 Classroom Teacher St. Louis Parochial School System

Shame and Affect Theory
Shame, according to affect theorists, is the vehicle that regulates interest and excitement, serving to diminish it to acceptable intensity (Potter-Efron, Efron, 1993). It is important to note that the function of shame is not to completely destroy these affects, but to partially restrict them. Normal shame according to Tomkins is a temporary condition, a sudden alteration of a situation that occurs when someone’s interest or excitement has mounted to inappropriate levels,
While Tomkins emphasizes that normal shame is a temporary phenomenon he provides an explanation for the unfolding and development of chronic shame as well. He explains that shame can become malignant if it becomes permanent or if it is linked too often with other affects (Tomkins, 1987) Kaufman (1990) labels this process the “affect-shame bind” Potter Ffron & Efron (1993) site the example that someone may feel continual shame for having any strong feelings, even when they would be appropriate. Eventually, shame stops primarily being a signal of temporary distress. Rather, it becomes part of the individual’s character, manifesting itself primarily in the forms of body shame, relationship shame, and competence shame (Potter Efron & Efron 1993).
Deborah J. Kuehne l, LCSW

Character Shame — Relationship Shame
Drive-Shame Scenes -Drive-Shame Binds -Sexuality-Shame – Hunger-Shame
Body Shame – Affect-Shame Scenes – Affect-Shame Binds
Excitement-Shame – Enjoyment-Shame – Anger-Shame Fear-Shame
Distress-Shame Shame -Shame Dismissal -Shame Disgust-Shame Nurture-Shame Affirmation-Shame
Power-Shame Differential

Shaming for women and men:
Women -Anger – Power – Differentiation
Fear Distress – Touching Holding – Identification